January 24, 2013

Almost 18 weeks pregnant.  This pregnancy is just flying by.  I feel like I had so much more time when I was pregnant with Lucia.  So much time to process, to contemplate, to sit and be still and wait for fetal movement.  Now I'm hard pressed for time.  By the time I leave work, pick up Lucia, go home, eat dinner, do bath/bedtime, I'm wiped out.  I work out some nights and usually just fall asleep on the couch.  I do have a big ultrasound next Tuesday, a growth scan, and I should get some pictures to scan and upload.  As I type this, I feel movement, a little pressure, a fluttering.  And then it stops.  Little hints and gentle reminders that I'm pregnant. 

Lately Lucia has been wanting to be held at night.  I put her in bed and she's upset, wants time with me.  Last night I went to check on her and rub her back but she told me she wanted to be held, to sit in the rocking chair ("sit, mama!") and snuggle.  I could tell it wasn't making her sleepy; she just wanted my company.  At a certain point I have to leave because she has to sleep.  But those moments are so nice.  She's so big to hold on my lap and rock.  But she's still my baby.  I touch her hair and stroke her forehead and I remember it was not too long ago that she was in my belly, and she was breech.  That head was pushed far up in my ribs for the latter part of my pregnancy.  I hold her on my lap, rub her back, and call her baby.  I tell her she's always going to be my baby.  I want her to know that.  She's my little girl, and she always will be.  Her days as an only child are becoming swiftly less and less.  This was her last Christmas as an only child.  I know she'll get jealous, but I don't want her to.  This is why I savor these times when it's just us, and I want to make sure I always make Lucia and me time.  Last night she was snuggled against me and I felt the baby move, and I realized I was rocking both of my babies.  I will have two babies.  I hope that the more I say this and commit it to memory it will truly hit me, though I don't think it will until the baby comes.

It's interesting - how little I read on pregnancy this time around, how I feel like a seasoned pro.  How much more time I have on my hands with a much shorter commute, and yet still, I feel like time is flying so fast.  I hope to capture more of these moments as they go, and I want to share these with my children (!) one day.  I'm trying to make time to write it all down.  Lucia is learning new words every day.  She is so amazing, so independent, so bubbly.  Last night when I got her from Emily's, she ran to the door, calling, "mama!!!", which she never does.  She usually throws her seahorse in my direction and runs off to get her shoes.  It made my day, it made me feel so much love in that moment, I felt my heart would explode.  She will be such a sweet big sister; she already has so much to teach her little brother/sister.  (she's split lately 50/50 on boy or girl when asked).

January 18, 2013

I'm finally starting a new blog, because I want to capture all of the moments that pass so quickly; I'm afraid I'll forget if I don't write them down. 

Lucia is now 2 years, 4 months, and her progress has far surpassed the doctors' expectations.  She is a "normal" kid, I daresay.  She is progressing on track, playing catch up with milestones as she's always done.  Once she finally started talking just after her second birthday, she flew through the alphabet, numbers, colors, shapes.  Picked up word after word, animal sounds.  She picks up phrases, repeats me.  Loves cats - hugging, kissing them, saying "night night".  She is happier to see them than either of us, most times.  She is a joy, so much fun, so silly.  LOVES books, re-reading them to her animals, to me in the car while driving.  She has almost every book memorized, but still she loves to re-read the same books over and over and over.  We finally have a routine after work, pickup at daycare at 5PM which is much earlier than in NJ.  Go home, make dinner, play, eat together, play more, bath time, reading, bed.  She goes to bed by 8PM and is happy to just hang out and sing or sometimes crashes right away.  I have time to myself these days, time for us as a couple.  Time.  And yet I keep neglecting to write.  With a blog, I should have no excuses.  So I will try.  Because now that we've finally gotten a rhythm down, much more time with Lucia, with us, for ourselves, we're expecting baby number two this June.  Everything will change, for the happier but also for the crazier.  It will be wonderful but exhausting. 

So I want this blog to document us, our journey, our children (eek it's crazy to say that), our growing family, as we move into this new phase of our lives.  Buying a house around the same time the baby is due, adjusting to life in the South, becoming 4 and not 3.  Will update with Lucia pics from birth to current day later, from home.