February 6, 2013

I am almost halfway there, almost 20 weeks.  Technically I'm more than halfway there; I won't go past 38 weeks.  I had my 2nd trimester screen, and my results are amazing considering I am advanced maternal age. Very little risk of any chromosomal issues.  I also got a good look at the baby for a while.

I wonder about personalities.  Lucia is so silly, so easygoing, so funny.  She's so smart, remembering every word she is told.  Reading books, telling me two, three words at a time.  I love our pre-bedtime cuddles, when she sings in that voice that I could listen to all day, that sweet, soft two year old voice.  She blends together words that she doesn't know but loudly pronounces hard consonants at the end of most words.  She sings Twinkle Twinkle, and subs out "whale" for every other word, she giggles.  She is the sweetest most precious little girl.  I cherish these times with her, and I know she will always be my baby too.  I feel robbed of so many moments with her because I used to be away from home so long for work.  Now I have the gift of all of this time, and I will with baby #2 and it's going to be wonderful.  I just wish I'd had it with her.  I now have so much, and I realize how painfully I've missed her.  I wonder what baby #2 will be like.  I think about the two of them interacting, about Lucia being this big girl helper as she's shown me so far.  She really is growing up so fast, so mature and independent.  But at the end of the day she is my baby, happiest to snuggle on my lap and command me to "sit".  She needs me, her Hello Kitty blanket, a cup of water, and her Wonder Pets book, pink seahorse too, when he fits.  I wonder what their dynamic will be, and I hope they will be fast friends most of the time.  I hope they will look out for each other and be each other's companions.  I want them to have what I don't have with my siblings, and I hope to always encourage that.  As I sit and listen to the baby monitor, Lucia is finally asleep, her white noise frog playing ocean sounds.  The occasional sigh.  I realize she is my baby now and always but soon this monitor will go in a nursery and she will go in a big girl bed.  Time flies so fast, and I'm just glad I have so much more of it these days.